This article was written in 2021. Still very valid for the situation that is now around us, and not only for therapists, it is essential for each and everyone of us.
The Fulcrum, Issue 84 September 2021 by Maria Esposito
“When I first started working with a heart-centred connection, my practice was transformed. I found that working from the heart enabled me to connect with my higher self and strengthen my intuition. Clients commented on the treatment experience and the more I nurtured my heart connection, the more effective my work became.
Yet, developing heart connection was not easy or straightforward. There were times when the connection was open and grounded, spacious and flowing. Other times I resonated with painful emotions and experiences. Questioning why this could be so led me to recognise my own emotional pain and unconscious fears and accept my need to heal.
The self-healing journey takes many forms and different paths. Each one of us will need to find the best way to acknowledge, recognise and heal from our emotional pain and fear. Here, I will share my own journey, experiences and observations before recommending useful tools and techniques that may support self-healing.
A Healing Dynamic
From personal experience and from talking with others, I believe that quite often therapists attract clients who have experienced similar pain. It seems a case of ‘like attracts like’ and the resulting dynamic seeks resolution for both client and therapist.
Around ten years ago, clients began coming to me with symptoms and experiences rooted in childhood pain and trauma. I found that I often resonated with their emotional pain and, as I began to explore this, I realised that I carried similar experiences. My acknowledgement and awareness of this allowed space for my own early trauma and, as the memories returned, I accepted that I too needed healing.
Acknowledgement was the beginning of my own healing journey and as it unfolded I recognised and accepted the fear that had been part of my life since early childhood.
Freedom From Fear
During the past ten years of treating clients, including babies and parents, and myself, I have become aware that fear is one of the most prevalent emotions, often hiding behind others. Fear can stem from emotional or physical pain that we have suffered in the past. It can be unconscious, buried so deeply that it influences our thoughts, feelings and actions without us really being aware of it.
The more I healed the more my true self emerged
Feelings of anger, deep anxiety, depression and overwhelm, and behaviours like lashing out, withdrawing, addiction and self-harm, can all stem from fear. They can stem from childhood experiences, our early relationships, our upbringing, our education, our society, from the way we were taught to deal or not to deal with emotions, and be triggered by the things we watch, books that we read, from family, friends, colleagues or people we admire.
Expressions of fear are seen now more than ever. For the past year and half of the Covid-19 pandemic, global fear of the unknown and the stress of uncertainty has impacted many lives, including our own. Throughout, fear and worry about the mental and physical health of loved ones and friends, about jobs and finances, have been pervasive. In some, isolation from and/or loss of loved ones have left deep emotional trauma. In others, fear and worry converted into anger and frustration with devastating impact for partners and families. These experiences may impact not just the people directly affected but also future generations.
The Question is How Do We Move Forward, Individually and Collectively?
I grew up with parents who were born at the time of the second world war and fear was a constant factor in their lives; fear of not getting enough food, fear of getting hurt, fear of not having enough money to support the family.
In myself, I believe that this legacy of fear manifested primarily as self-reliance. I became a ‘doer’, generally resilient and solutions oriented when dealing with my worries, and proactive about controlling my life and pursuing my interests in health and healing without dependence on others. However, as I shared in my previous article “Transformation’ (Issue 82), it wasn’t until I started my CST training that I realised how ungrounded I was, and how easily fears and worries unbalanced me.
So, part of my healing journey has been to free myself of inherited and acquired fears, unconscious and conscious. The more I healed the more my true self emerged – a more grounded and positive individual, searching for ways to deal with life and emotions. I supported this new self-awareness with personal craniosacral sessions, energy healing, and meditation, ultimately leading to a different level of being that has enabled me to move forward with a greater sense of energy, direction and focus.
As I continued to develop my craniosacral and intuitive practice, and practised grounding and heart-connection, I appreciated how much better and happier I felt without anxiety. I noticed that the more I healed, the less drama, in the form of books, films or news, appealed to me and I decided to stop drawing fears from outside sources to myself.
Now, after fearful or worrying situations arise, it takes less time to get back to feeling balanced and centred. Read the entire article on the Fulcrum here
Craniosacral Healing /Nutrition NAET/Mindfulness living/ NlP health coach /mind body and soul 